


I'll Be Here

by Whoreofaneboy



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Angst, Crying, Crying During Sex, Dubious Consent, Intoxicated Sex, Lemon, M/M, NSFW, Personas not people, Smut, Sootblade, Top Wilbur Soot, Unhealthy Coping, Wilbur Soot Angst, light frottage, mentioned sex addiction?, technobur, this is just 'study session' but different vibes because I needed to write angst, vague college au I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:48:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28309986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoreofaneboy/pseuds/Whoreofaneboy
Summary: Wilbur doesn't make the best decisions on how to spend his nights, and when he tries to stay in with his roommate for night, he realizes how much he really needs the sort of company he usually gets.Techno doesn't know what to do to help his friend. He's afraid that Wilbur's falling apart, and he'll do whatever he can to comfort him. Anything he needs, even if he's not sure it's something he wants to share with him.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade/Wilbur Soot, Techno/Wilbur, Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)/Other(s), Technoblade/Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot/Dave | Technoblade, Wilbur Soot/Other(s), Wilbur Soot/Technoblade
Comments: 20
Kudos: 304
Collections: Falling Apart.





	I'll Be Here

**Author's Note:**

> I worked really hard on this and it's a gift for a certain member of my discord server (he knows who is is) so I hope you guys enjoy having your hearts broken a little. 
> 
> And feel free to check out the server yourself, we have a fun time there.
> 
> https://discord.gg/VA9CC3Dc4K

He was drawn out, like the unwinding wool of an old sweater, never-ending and never beginning. What was Techno to do but watch as Wilbur pulled himself apart? Knowing that he had to come undone eventually. Eventually, it would be over, and everything would catch up with him.

But until then, Techno watched. He watched Wilbur pull out innumerous amounts of thread, and only ever saw him get thinner.

At first it had been every other week, on a particularly bad night, or a particularly good one. Once a week had become only weekends. Then it was just any time he could get away with it, and some he couldn’t. Techno watched him leave every night, and consequences crept into mornings.

Wilbur smiled and laughed, but it always seemed heavier. He sought indulgence, distraction, and Techno stayed home. He spent too many nights alone in that dorm for someone with a roommate. If he woke to company it was hickeys and hangovers with the sunrise, and a smile like fluorescent light—blinding and empty.

When Techno looked disappointed, Wilbur just looked away. Nothing ever came of it, nothing that was enough. Wilbur wore himself out thinner, and Techno spent more time alone, locked up in books and bad coffee. He had to wonder which of them hurt more. 

Was it worse to spend a night without company? Or spend every night in a different bed? Whatever preferences Wilbur had, Techno knew none of these people he was with, none of them cared. None of them ever cared the way Techno did from afar, watching his friend unravel.

That night was no different. It would never be different unless one of them had the balls to make it so, to reach across that gap.

“You looked tired, Wilbur,” Techno had said softly, not with vindication, only quiet concern. It was a concern that Wilbur needed to accept. 

Wilbur’s cheeks had been pale, slightly hollow. His returning smile was thin and unconvincing as he’d brushed a hand through his hair, soft curls straightening and bouncing back. He’d pressed two fingers beneath his eyes, tugging at the dark circles there. A distinct look of worry had appeared on his face for a moment, as he looked into the mirror. 

“Is it that bad?” Wilbur had asked, dark, curious eyes fixed on his reflection. “I don’t want to look bad.” 

Techno had sighed, hesitation creating a wall between him and Wilbur, a few steps preventing him from reaching out. 

“You never look bad, Wil,” Techno had assured. “You just look tired.” He’d hesitated for a moment before asking. “Aren’t you tired?” There was no telling how Wilbur really felt. It was too easy for him to cover it up, or maybe he was too adapted to this routine.

Wilbur had shaken his head. “I don’t want to be tired.” As if it was ever that simple. Then Wilbur had left. That night, Techno had failed. Just once, couldn’t he get that real concern? Couldn’t Wilbur care for himself? Was there something Techno could give him?

The next time Wilbur had come home helpless.

It wasn’t late or early, but it wasn’t a time to be awake. Wilbur’s eyelids dropped, the tired look in his face was something heavier than it had ever been. He was fraught with disappointment and desperation that made his thin frame bow. His shoulders sagged, and his trousers seemed loose, low on his hips under a tightened belt. 

“You’re home?” Techno asked, simple surprise clear on his face as Wilbur crept in through the creaky door. For the first time in awhile, he looked directly at Techno. There was something stale in his gaze, but somehow it still seemed new, unique. Wasn’t Wilbur always like that, though? Techno could barely himself to look close these days.

“I thought,” Wilbur began, a nervous hand rubbed over the back of his neck, “I thought we could spend some time together.” Techno wanted to ask why, maybe be upset. Why would he suddenly choose to stay home? But Techno knew better. Wilbur seemed fragile, and he had to wonder if the man hadn’t fallen apart already, quietly, in someone else’s bed. 

Fragile things were best treated with care, not scrutiny. 

Techno smiled weakly. “Of course,” he said, “I’ve always got time for you.” Wilbur’s hands dropped down to his sides, fingers twitching restlessly, but subtle enough that Techno had to choose to notice. His lips twitched too, slanted into the barest smile.

His eyes still frowned though.

“You’re the best,” Wilbur replied, words rode out on an empty laugh as he took a step closer. It was effortful, cutting the distance between them like pushing together the wrong sides of a pair of magnets. 

“What do you want to do?” Techno asked calmly.

Wilbur shrugged. “Don’t want to be alone. How ‘bout a drink? I think I’ve got something laying around here,” he suggested, shifting slightly on his feet. Techno didn’t care if there was alcohol involved or not, as long as he was there for his roommate, whatever had kept him in tonight.

“Sure, if you want.”

Then Wilbur was moving over to his little chest of belongings, opening drawers and pushing things aside until he pulled out a bottle of cheap vodka. Techno watched his lightly trembling hands as he poured some into chipped coffee mugs, either from terrible tourist destinations or half-assed gifts. Wilbur handed him a mug, and he accepted it, the two of them landing side by side on the edge of Techno’s bed. 

“Shit’s awful,” Wilbur muttered, hair sliding against his forehead as he tipped his cup back and took a drink. When he pulled back Techno could see him shudder, and when Techno tasted it he did the same. 

“Yeah,” Techno said, grimacing as he felt his throat burn. “Aren’t we a little old for this stuff?” He joked, watching Wilbur drink again. Techno raised his cup but he didn’t drink. 

Wilbur scrunched his face in displeasure. “Well I have it, and we shouldn’t let it go to waste. Besides, it still gets the job done.”

“What job?” Techno questioned, already knowing the answer. He sighed quietly as Wilbur finished his off. His head tipped back, the cup completely was upside down, and his pale throat bobbed as he swallowed. Then he set mug down on the floor next to his feet, already seeming a little brighter, artificially bright. He looked at Techno and smiled a bit wider than before.

“Mood enhancing,” Wilbur answered. And Techno knew it was just a placebo effect. No way he was feeling that much liquor already, but it would hit him soon enough.

“Is staying in with me really so bad?” Techno mused. He took a sip of his vodka and shuddered once more at the god awful taste. Wilbur licked his lips, seeming a little more pink than usual.

“No.” Wilbur leaned back against the bed, kicking off his shoes and crossing his gangly legs. “But I think you’ll like me better when I’m not sober.”

Techno didn’t buy that one bit, giving his friend the barest look of concern as he set his cup down, and laid down on the bed. “If you insist. I think I like you either way, though.” He lifted his head up just enough to look at Wilbur, smiling slyly. 

“Only you would say that,” Wilbur said tiredly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Nothing.”

Techno frowned, seeing Wilbur move a little closer to him, moving to lay on his side with his legs tucked in. “Why’d you decide to stay tonight?” He asked suddenly, looking into Wilbur’s big brown eyes, laced with a tinge of sadness, and that worn out look he always seemed to have.

Wilbur looked away for a moment before his eyes returned to meet Techno’s. “I don’t know,” he conceded, “I feel like I don’t see you enough. Like there’s something, missing, here.” Techno looked back at him with sympathy, understanding, and curiosity. But he knew there was more to whatever Wilbur was feeling.

There was something longing, something unstable in his dark eyes as he moved a bit closer. He smiled wider, but as far as his lips moved, the rest of his face stayed worn, sad. If he’d really been unraveled how was Techno meant to help him?

“What’s missing?” Techno asked gently, wanting to know, needing to know. “I’m here for you, you know that right, Wil? Whenever you come back, I’ll be here.”

Wilbur nodded slowly, “I know.” It sounded like giving up. Techno waited for him to continue, could see him trying to form the words, but nothing ever came of it, nothing at all. His eyes moved back to the dresser, and the bottle of vodka resting on top, plastic seal torn and cap screwed on crooked.

Wilbur picked the coffee mug up off the floor, and dragged himself up to his feet, nodding at Techno as he unscrewed the cap. It was stuck somewhat and Techno watched him strain to open it, saw the release of tension in his body when he finally got it open.

“You want some more?” He asked, splashing some of the clear liquid into his cup. 

Techno frowned, looking down at the one near his feet and shaking his head. He was already beginning to feel a bit of a buzz from the ounce or so he’d had, and he wasn’t planning on getting drunk. Never trusted himself to be like that.

“Suit yourself,” Wilbur said, not bothering to recap the bottle as he returned to the bed, crossing his legs and taking a long drink. When he’d finished he looked at Techno, and licked his lips, seeming even redder than before. Techno could tell the alcohol was starting to hit him, signaled by slightly flushed cheeks and sleepy eyes.

“You should pace yourself,” Techno said, not concerned yet, but still wanting to make sure Wilbur didn’t get ahead of himself. For once he was there to stop him.

Wilbur turned to the side and offered a droopy smile, crossing and uncrossing his legs. “I’ll be alright,” Wilbur insisted, and by that Techno could tell he’d crossed the threshold between sober and tipsy very quickly. It would only get stronger, but at least he was with him.

“Lightweight,” Techno muttered, watching Wilbur take another sip and grimace at the taste. Hell, it even smelled awful. 

Wilbur hummed, “It’s cheaper to get me drunk, Techno, be grateful I’m such a fun time.” Techno sat up, and Wilbur rested the cup on his lap, long finger wrapped tightly around the handle.

“I think you should stop there,” Techno suggested, not wanting to be pushy, but he also wanted to catch Wilbur far before he was completely inhebriated, unable to hold a conversation. Or maybe just too drunk to care what he was saying.

“I don’t really want to stop,” Wilbur said glumly. The tone in his voice was a childish, whiny sort, but he hadn’t drank nearly enough for that to come through. Techno rested a hand on top of his, feeling the cool ceramic of the mug just barely brush his fingertips as he curled them over. Wilbur didn’t stop him from prying the cup put of his warm hand. His fingers twitched, freeing up for a moment at the contact, but then his hand fell limp against his lap.

“What are you trying to run from with this?” Techno asked, turning and setting the cup down on the floor. He felt Wilbur watching out of the corner of his eye, but when he sat back up the other was staring straight at the wall.

“I just,” Wilbur began, wringing his fingers together, tapping his feet on the wooden floor, already seeming to sober up without the drink in his hand. “It makes me feel less alone, and I don’t like to feel alone.”

“You’re not alone,” Techno reminded him. Slowly, Techno reached out and put a hand on Wilbur’s knee, patting it gently in a way he hoped was reassuring. He saw Wilbur flinch at the touch before relaxing again, still except for his fidgeting fingers. “I’m here.”

Wilbur turned towards Techno, gnawing on his bottom lip, an unmistakable look of confliction in his eyes. “It feels like it,” Wilbur said flatly, “it always feels like it.”

“Always?” Techno felt concern more strongly than he felt the warmth of liquor in his chest, the slightly fuzzy feeling in his head. Emotions seemed to pull him out of a weak buzz, but Wiblur seemed to grow drunker by the second.

“Whenever I’m not wanted,” Wilbur conceded, eyes dropping down to the floor for a brief moment, and then returning to Techno. But Wilbur looked at his face, his lips, not his eyes. 

“Of course I want you here.” Techno shook his head, giving Wilbur’s knee a little squeeze, and seeing his already dilated eyes get wider. He felt him stiffen, like he couldn’t decide whether to move closer or pull away. 

Techno placed a hand on his cheek, turning his head sideways, and Wilbur licked his lips and looked away, fingers bunching up in the bedsheets. Why did he look so guilty?

“You don’t want me, though.” Wilbur mumbled, the flush in his face a little more pronounced “not the way I want you to. It’s not what I need.” Techno puzzled, not sure what Wilbur was talking about. But, he wanted to be there for his friend. There were too many times when he hadn’t been able to, hadn’t known what he needed, or where he even was.

All he knew was that something was wrong.

“What are you talking about, Wil?” Techno asked hesitantly, “I thought you were the one that didn’t want to be here. It doesn’t seem like you want to be.”

Wilbur swallowed, and Techno watched his throat bob, his lips parted for a silent moment before he spoke. His eyes looked slightly shiny. “I just want to touch someone,” Wilbur said, and that drowsy look in his eyes was only getting stronger. 

“Me?” Techno asked hesitantly, and he could feel Wilbur’s jaw tense up under his hand, just for a moment. Then he relaxed. Techno let his hand fall down, and saw an intense look of fear in Wilbur’s eyes, fear and something else, a feeling that was hard to name. 

Wilbur’s finger wrapped around Techno’s wrist, holding his hand up between them, turning himself sideways. He pushed a hand down onto the bed at his side, steadying himself, and nodding. Then his other hand began to creep up Techno’s arm, holding just above his elbow. It was Techno’s turn to flinch. 

“You don’t want that, do you?” Wilbur questioned, and Techno knew he’d already accepted the answer as no. There was a sliver of hope in his friend’s gaze though, and a need there too, a need for something more--the same nighttime solace he always ended up going for. 

It hurt to see Wilbur like this. He seemed so frail, but somehow still wound up as he leaned in closer. And Techno could smell the vodka on his breath. It wasn’t the alcohol that made him like this though, not entirely. Something under the surface was pulling him apart, something Techno didn’t know how to help with.

“You’re not thinking right,” Techno said, in the least demeaning way he could possibly manage. “This is a bad idea. You sure it’s what you need right now?” Wilbur’s hand moved higher, resting up on Techno’s shoulder, and he may as well have been giving him puppy eyes.

“Does it have to be a good idea?” Wilbur asked, squeezing Techno’s shoulder slightly, pushing himself upwards a bit. He’d been slouching this whole time, but now he had to look down slightly, a straight back bringing him to his full height while both of them were sitting. He groaned softly. “I need this, Techno, please.” His voice low and whiny, not quite hitting the consonant ‘c’ in Techno’s name. 

It wasn’t what Techno wanted, to be in bed with him in that way. But Wilbur needed comfort, and if this was how he found it, then for once Techno could help him. Even if it was just for one night, it was something to keep him from unraveling...  
Maybe this would ruin something, but Wilbur looked so tired, so desperate. 

What could he do but indulge him?

“If that’s what you want,” Techno said, finally going soft under Wilbur’s touch. His hand was warm, grip firm. Techno looked him in the eyes and nodded slowly. Carefully, he reached up and curled his fingers into Wilbur’s hair, watching his face light up. A lazy smile appeared on his lips, and then Techno was tasting it.

Without a moment’s hesitation Wilbur kissed him, inhaling shakily as he pressed Techno down by his shoulder. It was sloppy but high tension, slightly awkward from the angle, and Techno kissed back slightly, sinking into the bed. Shoes came off and then he felt Wilbur’s hands on his hips, moving the both of them into the middle of the bed hurriedly. 

Wilbur deepened the kiss, and Techno let him. He felt the other’s hands slipping into his, fingers intertwining as he pressed them into the sheets above his head, hands twitching and squeezing. Techno could taste the vodka on his tongue, feel the unsteady pace of his breathing. Wilbur nearly rested his full body weight against Techno, the two of them pressed together from the chest down.

Techno felt the pulse and patter of Wilbur’s heart, and he couldn’t tell if it was speeding up or slowing down. Techno just stayed calm and compliant, resting under the heat and passion of Wilbur’s mouth on his, the weight of a body. He wouldn’t choose this, it didn’t feel right, but it was simple and human. It was what Wilbur needed, the only comfort or concern he seemed to accept.

Wilbur’s lips moved to Techno’s throat, face buried in his neck and panting against his skin between messy kisses. He could feel that Wilbur was hard, hips rocking forward needily, his whole body in rhythm. “Techno,” Wilbur said, name a breathless plea as he unwound a hand from Techno’s. It slipped under his shirt, warmer palm pressed flat against warm skin. 

“Wilbur,” Techno muttered, panting, but concerned and reassuring, only hinged by unconscious desire as Wilbur continued to grind against him. It wasn’t like he could help it. He pulled his free hand up, slipped it into Wilbur’s messy curls and pulled him just a bit closer. 

Techno squeezed his eyes closed, feeling himself get harder as Wilbur rubbed against him. Friction built fire, and he thought his pants might burst into flames. Wilbur’s mouth moved lower down his neck, warm, wet, soft. Whines and grunts came from the back of his throat as he continued to rock his hips forward. Skinny or not, Wilbur was bigger than him, and the weight Techno felt being under him was overwhelming.

When Wilbur reached the collar of Techno’s shirt he pulled away, pushing himself up with shaky arms and panting, but he was already moving to push Techno’s shirt up over his head. Techno wanted to ask him to pause. He just needed a minute, but Wilbur’s look was still slashed by desire and desperation. His cheeks were flushed, breathing heavy, eyes wide, and there was a large tent in his pants. Techno knew he himself must’ve looked similar, but not the same.

So, Techno just lifted his arms and let Wilbur remove his shirt. He sat there, watching silently as Wilbur removed his own, shoulders pulled back, straddling Techno as he slipped the fabric over his head and tossed it to the floor. His hair was ruffled slightly, chest left bare.

And he was beautiful, Techno couldn’t deny it. His hair looked soft and bouncy, lazy smile perfectly uneven, and eyes so needy. His lips still looked so pink they were almost red, kiss-swollen and shining in the dim light of the room. Despite the fact that he was thin, he was perfectly proportioned, long and graceful. 

“You’re perfect,” Wilbur said sleepily, and Techno knew he had to be giving a similar appreciation--similar but not the same.

“Don’t say that,” Techno said quietly. He didn’t want to say what either of them was thinking, didn’t want to know.

Wilbur just pouted, latching on to Techno’s belt and unfastening it, nimble fingers working fast. As Wilbur tossed the belt aside, Techno closed his eyes again. Then the other was unbuttoning his pants, and moving aside to pull them down his legs, following up with his underwear. It was light enough to see still, and Techno chose to keep his eyes closed.

He didn’t want to see himself like this. 

The bed creaked and shifted, a drawer opened, he heard Wilbur’s breathing, the sound of something opening. Then there was a cold finger pressed between his legs and he inhaled sharply. This really wasn’t something he did often, and it felt strange to have himself splayed out like this. He felt lube drip down Wilbur’s finger onto the insides of his thighs.

All Techno could do was breathe deeply, and relax, feeling Wilbur pressing his finger inside of him. He felt the stretch, a soft mix between pleasure and pain. A soft moan slipped from this lips and he just let it happen. Wilbur wrapped a hand around his stiff cock, fingers soft and warm, squeezing him tight.

Wilbur stroked and thrusted, and damn if he couldn’t keep a rhythm that had Techno panting and gasping. As he relaxed it got easier, one finger became two, and then three, stretching him out as he dissolved into mostly comfortable pleasure. He kept his eyes shut, still hearing Wilbur’s breathing, feeling the silent tension, knowing exactly how he looked in that moment.

Then Wilbur’s hands moved away, and Techno heard a click as he opened up the lube again, spread it on himself, and wiped his hand on the sheets, uncaring. The bed creaked, and Wilbur was on top of him, face inches from his, the smell of vodka more noticeable after a pause. 

Techno felt Wilbur’s slick cock pressed against his entrance, opening his eyes to look at the other. 

“Are you ready?” Wilbur asked for verification, but Techno couldn’t say no at this point even if he wanted to. Somehow Wilbur’s voice was frantic and worn out at the same time, eyes still full of need, glassy and wide. His breathing was heavy and uneven. 

Techno nodded silently, and Wilbur buried his face in the crook of his neck, grunting softly as he began to press himself in. It stung and stretched and the moment felt so permanent. Techno’s throat bobbed and he tipped his head back against the bed, eyes open, staring into the middle distance. He could help but moan softly as Wilbur entered him, filling him up to the brim, and letting out a few moans of his own, whiny and needy.

When he paused, both of them were panting, and he felt Wilbur’s open mouth against his throat, the heat of his breath and softness of his lips. Wilbur hands were planted in the sheets beneath his shoulders. Techno pushed one of his into Wilbur’s hair, loosely tangled in the curls, the other flat at his side.

It was like that for a few moments, the simple press of bodies, and then Wilbur started to move. It still stung a bit, but Techno didn’t stop him, just made a few soft sounds as Wilbur’s hips rocked back and forth. Pleasure and friction burned between them, started slow and built quickly. It was more than Techno would’ve expected, to feel Wilbur stretching him out so much.

Wilbur’s breathing got heavier, grunts and moans slipping from his lips as he tried to press himself as close to Techno as possible, as deep inside of him as he could get. Techno felt the heaviness of Wilbur on him again, keeping him in against the bed. He fucked slow and unsteady, gradually gaining rhythm as he seemed to lose himself in the feeling.

Techno closed his eyes again, feeling Wilbur get faster, moaning and grunting a little louder, panting harder. The sounds he made were those of a clingy puppy, whiny and high, sweet and desperate, like he might die without this. Techno let him do as he wanted, stroking his hair, pleasure growing idly, not overwhelming. It felt good but he couldn’t focus on it.

He could be what Wilbur needed, just this once.

Wilbur’s moans turned more to whines and whimpers, desperate, choked gasps. Techno opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling blankly, and he realized he felt a different sort of wetness on his neck and shoulder. 

It was sobbing. Wilbur was crying into the crook of his neck, and Techno felt his own eyes get a little watery, wrapping both arms around Wilbur. He couldn’t see his face, but he felt his agony, and he couldn’t understand it. Somehow it was worse, knowing this was all that Wilbur would let him do.

Wilbur got rougher, more inconsistent. His hips slammed into Techno’s, confused and desperate as he rutted against him. It hurt in more ways than one. The noises Wilbur made became lower, more guttural, sobs deeper and slower, breathing harder. Techno’s body jolted with every thrust, and maybe his heart hurt too much to feel the pleasure properly.

“I’m sorry,” Wilbur moaned, his words muffled but unmistakable, and Techno felt him twitch and tense, movements become entirely erratic. Techno just held him tighter, feeling him sob against his neck, skin wet with the other’s tears.

“It’s alright,” Techno said flatly, no fluff, just honesty. He’d let this happen. He did for Wilbur, and it was alright. He felt something hot and sticky, and then Wilbur was coming apart, collapsing against him with a soft groan. The sobbing softened, but it didn’t stop.

Wilbur unraveled, came apart on top of him, and Techno’s heart broke.

“I’m so sorry,” Wilbur mumbled, the full weight of his body pressed against Wilbur, sinking them down into the sheets. Techno stroked his hair, and pulled him even closer.

“It’s alright,” Techno said simply, “I’m here. I’ll be here.” And he hoped, that it was enough. This was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I haven't posted for a long time, I've been busy with school and my motivation has been dead. You guys can totally revive it with your comments though! 
> 
> Even if I don't remember to reply I read all of them, and knowing what you guys like about my fics is very heartwarming and inspiring!
> 
> So, I hope you enjoyed, and please feel free to let me know absolutely anything in the comments besides telling me not to write porn about cc's personas. I will take your bones if you think you can stop me.


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